Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Profiles in America's Youth: Vol.1

Stalov is the Original Libertine is what high school is all about. This L.A. wonder has got his rebelious youth priorities in order. Turn ons: Howard Stern, communism, stoner movies, serial killers, porn, and the literary stylings of John Grisham. Turn offs: his high school, marriage, Nancy Gracy, Adam Sandler, Laci Peterson (as well as her mom), and "pussified guys." Send him mad props, a dvd of "Reds," or the name of a good bail bondsman in southern California.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Apocalypse Now: Vol. 1

The Great Red Comet states/asks: "Current world events are providing factual evidence that the End Times are upon us. Will you be prepared?" Loaded with all kinds of uplifting news on the latest "political, geological, and climatological" catastrophes - all part of the great "tribulation" described by Hindus, Christians, and Native Americans alike. As we have said in the past, when the time comes you can find us at the bar.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Margaritaville Revisited

Raise your hands if your brackets are fubar! Bradley? What the fuck is Bradley and from whence did it come? And we'd like to personally invite all of the schools representing the Big Ten (especially Ohio State) to remove the large pieces of furnture from their rectums and get their asses back into the gym. If you had just as tough of a weekend as we did with the old office pool, then perhaps you should read Bracketology 101 more often.

Oh, but we know that March Madness is all about the little guys having their time in the spotlight - like leprauchans or the Irish generally - and we can't express our gratitude enough to the NCAA and Catholic Church for getting together this year and and holding the second day of the tournament on St. Patrick's Day, a day where there is nothing to do but drink Guiness and watch 16 basketball games. What could be better?

Spring Break, you say?

We'd like to agree with you, but to tell you the truth most of the day's events during our Spring Break start to get a little fuzzy around noon - unless you want to hear stories about some kick ass huevos rancheros? But Charlie the intern apparently had a wonderful time. The drug-sniffing dogs nearly torn him to shreads when we landed back in the States. We'd give him the reigns for the rest of this post, but his lawyer has asked him to remain mute. C'est le vie!

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